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HOLY SH*T, THEY’RE GONE
NAVIGATING THE F*CKING AFTERMATH OF LOSS WITHOUT THE BULLSH*T
A BRASS KNUCKLES SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR THE BRUTALLY SHATTERED
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THE BOOK GRIEF DOESN'T WANT YOU TO READ
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There’s a moment—a razor-thin slice of time—when the whole fucking world goes dark. When everything you thought you knew about yourself gets obliterated in one brutal, soul-crushing second. And you’re left standing there in the ruins, wondering if you’re even still breathing. Welcome to goddamn ground zero. Welcome to grief.
This isn’t some cutesy "How to Cope with Loss" pamphlet. This is a goddamn combat manual for surviving when the universe decides to rip your fucking heart out, slap you across the face, and leave you bleeding on the floor.
I’m Cassandra Crossno, and I’m here to show you exactly what it looks like when love gets murdered in cold blood. When it’s snatched from you in an instant. When everything you’ve ever known gets turned to dust, and all that’s left is you—barely holding it together, but still fighting like hell to keep your pulse steady.
Grief isn't a journey. It’s a goddamn nuclear winter. A cold, suffocating fog that clouds your mind, numbs your senses, and leaves you wondering how you can even make it through one more second. There are no rainbows at the end of this shitshow. There’s no “healing” fairy dust. There’s only survival. And sometimes, survival feels like dragging a goddamn battleship through quicksand.
This is not a love story. This is a war crime against everything you thought you understood about love. And you don’t get to choose how it goes down. The universe plays dirty, and you’re the collateral damage. There’s no way out of this, no escape hatch.
I get it. I’ve been there. Patrick—my anchor, my future, the only person who could look at me and see me—was taken from me. In a single split second, he was gone.
No warnings. No preparation. Just gone.
And now? I’m standing here, on the other side of hell, telling you exactly what this shit feels like. And I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to sit here and tell you some bullshit about “getting through it.”
- I won’t romanticize your pain.
- I won’t tell you it’s “okay.” It’s not. It’ll never be okay.
- Grief doesn’t have stages. It has ambushes. Just when you think you’re starting to breathe, it’ll knock you on your ass again.
- Healing isn’t linear. It’s a goddamn guerrilla war. It’s ugly. It’s chaotic. Some days, you don’t even know if you’ll make it through the next minute.
- And some days? Just getting through the day is a fucking victory.
Rule #1: There are no rules.
Rule #2: Forget Rule #1.
A FINAL WARNING:
Enter at your own risk.
What you find here might save your fucking soul. Or it might destroy what’s left of the person you used to be. Either way, you’re going to come out of this a different person.
This is what they won’t tell you:
- Some days, you’ll hate everyone who’s still breathing.
- Some days, you’ll hate yourself for still breathing.
- Grief will turn you into a goddamn stranger to yourself. You won’t even recognize the person you’re becoming.
- There’s no “getting over it.” There’s only learning to carry the weight of a broken world.
- Your heart doesn’t “heal.” It learns to fight with its fucking scars.
You think this is about “healing”? Nah. This is about surviving. It’s about figuring out how to live when the universe rips your heart out and laughs in your face as you try to put the pieces back together.
And survival? It looks nothing like what you’ve been told. It’s messy as hell. It’s brutal. It’s the ugliest fucking thing you’ll ever go through. It’s like staring down the barrel of a gun and deciding to pull the fucking trigger anyway. Every day is a goddamn fight. And if you think it’s going to get easier, I’ve got news for you: It won’t. But you’ll get stronger. You’ll get tougher. And you’ll learn to fight back.
You think you know pain? Hold the fuck on. This isn’t about healing. This isn’t about fixing anything. This is about radical fucking honesty. It’s about standing in the complete destruction of everything you thought you knew and deciding—sometimes moment by moment—that you’re going to breathe anyway.
Your pain is real. Your rage is real. Your complete and utter “what the fuck am I supposed to do now?” Yeah, that’s real too. And you don’t have to apologize for it. You’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You’re just surviving the only way you know how—by fighting for every goddamn breath. There’s no map. There’s just you, the wreckage, and the cold, hard truth: the only way out is through.
This is about taking the wreckage of who you were and learning how to walk through the world, changed, but still breathing. And if you can handle that? If you’re ready to face this truth with no bullshit? Then maybe, just maybe, you’ll come out the other side even stronger than you ever thought possible.
So if you’re ready for the real shit, you're in the right fucking place. This is where the truth gets ugly. This is where it gets messy. But if you’re ready to face it, you’ll never look at grief the same way again.
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